Mets Thoughts by Mike Bonomo

The Mets finally got the food court that is Mo Vaughn to waddle out of Shea. The Mets get $25 million from insurance for this because he has spent 90 days on the DL. Apparently the only one stupider than the Mets, who signed Vaughn, is the guy who wrote up the policy. I'd love to be his boss just so I could fire him. I guess Mo's knees just couldn't hold up his weight plus the extra pounds in his wallet from the money they gave him. The Mets negotiation: "Oh, you've been out of baseball for a year and weigh over 300 pounds? How much can we give you?" Of course this is the team that traded Nolan Ryan.

On top of Vaughn leaving, whatever it was that had been playing 2nd base went to the With Sox. Watching Roberto Alomar play was the closest thing I've seen to a player taking a recliner and a newspaper to the plate since Bobby Bonilla. Alomar also forgot to pack his gold gloves when he moved to New York.

I was glad to see Benitez on the All Star team because it prepared me for his trip across town. After he blows a few games in tight spots I'm sure Cashman will be looking for a new job.

I would love for the Mets to trade the apple that comes out of the hat, the airplane race, and the three card monte for kids to the Brewers in exchange for the sausage race. When Pittsburgh comes to the Mets again maybe we could get Randall Simon to hit Mr. Met on the head. It would make me happy if Mr. Met would ask Mike Tyson for an autograph if you know what I mean. It's hard enough enduring the team, never mind the constant embarrassment of having such a dumb ass mascot.

I still feel better about this Met team than I have in over a year. Reyes, Wiggington, Phillips and Duncan are showing some guts out there. With Piazza at first and Wilson/Phillips behind the plate, the Mets are much better. The young players on the team are giving me the toughest gift you can give a fan of a last place team, hope for next year. (Or the year after, or the year after that...) All the Mets need is some starting pitching, middle relief and a closer, and they're set.

I have mixed emotions about Detroit beating the Mets '62 won-loss record. Maybe we could loan them Mr. Met for inspiration.

Mike Bonomo is currently playing guitar with his band The Miscreants. He has written for The Teen Scene and PC Magazine. He likes bowling and softball and has been a lifelong Met fan, which may explain his drinking problem.