Rants From the Upper Deck by Steve Reynolds

Has there ever been a day that was stupider, more aggravating and more infuriating in recent baseball history than the recent hearings before the House of Representatives Committee on Government Reform about steroid use in Major League Baseball? After 10 hours of testimony, here’s what the Ranter learned:

1) Most congressman are dumb and can’t grasp simple concepts, don’t pay attention to what anyone testifying actually says to them, love grandstanding when they know when there’s a national audience—and when the cameras are turned off love to suck up to ball players. (Yes, during a break in the testimony, the congressmen asked all the players for autographs, and even took pictures with one.)

2) Mark McGwire got some really bad legal advice, and apparently has been retired from the game for some time. (Who knew?)

3) When faced with legal trouble, Jose Canseco shrinks down to the size of, well, the balls of someone that’s juiced up.

4) Sammy Sosa loves being selective with his use of English.

5) Curt Schilling has a political future.

6) Teleconferencing does not work. (Will anyone remember Frank Thomas testified at all?)

7) And finally, “Steroids is bad.”

This entire debacle not only made the players and MLB management and the Player’s Association look bad (which is pretty hard not to do), but it also confirmed my general distrust of anyone elected to any political office. It’s telling that the only person who seemed sane at the hearing was the independent congressman from Vermont, who asked why the media wasn’t there on days they actually had hearing about issues that matter.

All in all, congress’ time and money could be much better spent on many, many other issues. Yes, steroids are harmful to anyone’s health, but last time I checked, AIDS, cancer, and heck, the war in Iraq seem to be ruining more people’s lives than Jason Giambi or Barry Bonds being idiots. Will we ever get our priorities straight? Unlikely. And this pisses me off so much I can’t even write anymore about it.

So before I run out of space, the Ranter expects a St. Louis vs. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of the United States of America of the Planet Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy World Series, with the Cards taking it in 6.

Steve Reynolds is the senior editor of Zisk, and looks forward to being angry most of this god damn season.