How to Get More Reading Done

70 + sunny = sit out back with a paperback. That was the extent of my plans for today, but after soaking up about five minutes of bliss it became apparent that a cluster of bees planned to rule our back deck this afternoon. My bubble burst, I moved indoors and turned on the Mets game. It was a classic background game. Tom Glavine was off and the infield defense did nothing to help the cause (the errors made by Reyes and Matsui reeked of spring training, but with Reyes swinging a hot bat lately the Shea faithful easily forgave him and turned their contempt toward Matsui, whose every miscue inches Miguel Cairo closer to taking over at second). I kept the game on but had to mute the TV because of the Light Bulb Gang, represented today by Tom Seaver.

Act I: It's all about me!

Seaver's play-by-play cohort (I don't think it was Tom Robinson, but I can't recall who it was): Last night in Chicago, the Mariners' Ryan Franklin and the White Sox' Mark Buerle hooked up in a game that took only one hour and 39 minutes to play. What do you think of that, Tom?

Seaver: I was once involved in a game that went only an hour and 28 minutes.

Act II: It's not my fault!

Awhile later Tom implied that someone else was responsible when he got the daily trivia question wrong. The question was which left-handed pitchers have thrown more than 4.500 innings in their careers. (Answer: Warren Spahn, Steve Carlton, Tommy John, and Jim Kaat) Seaver named the first two and also added Tom Glavine, today's pitcher. "Usually there's a connection between the answer and one of the game's players." (Proper interpretation: Had the people writing the question followed protocol, like we did in the Marines, and like we did when I was a player, I would not have offered the incorrect portion of my response).

Thanks, Tom, because of your broadcasting-like-a-pouty-seven-year-old style, I get a lot more reading done.